Couples Counseling Reston, VA
When two people come together to form a strong, loving partnership, it’s a desirable thing. However, marriages or other kinds of domestic partnerships do come with challenges. As life changes us, it affects our relationship with our partner, as well. The therapists at Lindsey Hoskins & Associates are compassionate and knowledgeable couples’ counselors who conduct therapy sessions to help couples maintain healthy partnerships. Here are some common questions that are asked in counseling sessions.
How can I get my partner to stop criticizing me?
If critical things are said that cause long-term hurt, anger, and bitterness, then love and commitment can be lost. You may be unable to get your partner to stop criticizing or speaking harshly to you, but you can stop listening to it by leaving the room. But, leave in a purposeful manner that doesn’t escalate the tension in the room.
How can I keep from saying hurtful things that can’t be taken back?
If hurtful things are said that can’t be taken back, it can erode love and commitment. A partner may purposely do things that aim to end the relationship or say something so harsh and disrespectful that it seems clear that they meant it when they said it. But, many times, this abandoning language and disrespect are more likely an indication of how hurt, pained, scared, ashamed, powerless, or sad that person is feeling in the moment. These are all feelings that cause someone to feel vulnerable. When a partner doesn’t know how to share these vulnerable feelings effectively, then the judgmental, aggressive, hostile, or withdrawing behaviors may take over. A couples’ counselor can help you identify and ease these vulnerable feelings.
Is this relationship abusive?
It doesn’t matter if one partner ‘intends’ to harm another. If the experience is harmful, and if the behavior continues despite the partner being told that the behavior is upsetting, then it could be called abusive. This can include things like blaming, yelling, name-calling, shaming, stone-walling, giving the silent treatment, holding wrists, pushing, shoving, or any other physically controlling behavior. Whether the intent was there or not, it doesn’t matter; it’s still abuse.
Why won’t my partner won’t forgive me for something in the past?
People often ask this for a few reasons:
- The offending partner has not taken full responsibility for the behavior that harmed the other.
- The offender has not asked for forgiveness and has not changed their behaviors.
- The impact of wounding on the wronged partner’s thoughts and feelings has not been communicated.
Forgiveness may not be possible until these things are accomplished. The offender should show remorse, responsibility, and empathy to fuel long-term change.
How is disrespectful and hurtful behavior best handled?
Disrespectful and hurtful behavior can’t be managed through arguing. Separating from one another at that moment allows the two of you the opportunity to come back when tensions have eased with both partners owning their part in the problem. A couples’ counselor can help you develop the skills necessary to change disrespectful and hurtful patterns.
Learning to navigate the challenging marriage events can help to increase your chances of a long and happy marriage. Through couples counseling, a therapist can work with one or both of you to find clear strategies for growth and change. Schedule an appointment for a session today.